Friday, February 4, 2011


All of my life I've felt I was fat.  Of course now when I look back at old pictures from high school, I so wasn't.  I just wasn't a size 0.  Over the past few years I've really not even worried about it. I mean I did but I didn't.  I lost most of the weight after I had Logan but I didn't really gain much when I was pregnant with him.  Cole was a different story.  After I  had him, I was my heaviest ever.  I never lost that weight and now I just keep adding more to it.  Its gotten bad probably over the last year.  I'm comfortable & relatively happy so I eat. These past couple months with the holdiays and all I really didn't 'care'. 

Now I care. I can't stand how I feel and how I really look.  I guess I have this image of me in my head (probably the me from high school) and I think thats just how I look now.  Not so much.  I really looked in the mirror the other day before I got in the shower and wow.  Just wow.  I can't believe I've left it get to this point.  I don't want to step on the scale but I really should. 

A few weeks ago I don't even know what we were watching but a commercial for P90X came on.  Ryan was watching it with me and somehow we both just started bringing it up randomly.  Then we'd find that one of us would each be on a computer looking up more info on it.   I even asked a friend of mine that I knew had done the program and loved it.  Ryan really wanted to order it but I was terrified.   It was hard.  Very hard, not to mention expensive.  I couldn't bring myself to order it.  How  many other programs have I done without success?  How much money have I wasted? 

Guess what showed up in the mail the other day??  Yeah, he ordered it.   Part of me was a little upset just because it is pretty pricey and it wasn't a decision together.  After I thought about it though I changed my mind because maybe this is what I need.  Ryan doesn't quit...ever.  I need him to be obnoxious with me about it, to the point its all he talks about all the time everyday.

 Seriously, he gets on these kicks and he just doesn't stop.  First there was the aquarium, then the chickens now P90X . 

We went and got our supplies for it and did our first disc last night. 

OMG.  That's really all I can say about  it.  I really hope this is it for me.  I want it bad.  I'm tired of feeling and looking this way. 

Onto disc 2 tonight and grocery shopping this weekend.  I'm sort of nervous but excited at the same time.  I can't wait!!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

First Tournament

As I've mentioned Logan went right from football into wrestling.  Wrestling is a little more laid back than football was and it seems, at least at the beginner level, there wouldn't be any matches/tournaments he would HAVE to go to.  It was actually just what we needed after the intense football schedule.

 Though I am hoping Logan gives football one more shot.  I think he might like it better this year.

Anyway,  this past weekend Logan had the chance to participate in his first wrestling tournament.  It was right up our alley, it was supposed to be for first year wrestlers.   He did OK.  He had three different matches.  He was very nervous, as was I on his first one, the second one he did a little better and his last one he didn't even try he was just done and frankly so was I.   Here are a few pictures from the day....

At the end all of the kids got medals, he was very excited :) 

I'm having a little bit of writers block for my other blog post, I really have to quit stressing about it. I've realized I don't like having a certain 'thing' I have to write about but its pretty cool for the experience.  Hopefully its bringing more readers here....As for that...if you are reading what I'm writing either here or there comment, please!!  I <3 comments :) 

I'm not sure what my problems been these past few days, I've been coming home from work and just crashing pretty much as soon as dinner is over and cleaned up.  I know its because its been yucky and cold and I come home get comfy and kick back to read with my Kindle and just fall asleep.

Knitting was going better, you know before I started falling asleep at 7pm.  I'm working on a baby gift for a friend that reads this so I can't say too much about it yet or post pics.  Once I'm finished with it and she receives it I'll be sure to post about it.  Its actually helped me get out of my knitting funk.  Though the part I've currently been working on has been giving me trouble, hoping to get that all figured out tonight.  You know so I can mail it to her before its too small for her baby boy ;)