Changing

All of my life I've felt I was fat.  Of course now when I look back at old pictures from high school, I so wasn't.  I just wasn't a size 0.  Over the past few years I've really not even worried about it. I mean I did but I didn't.  I lost most of the weight after I had Logan but I didn't really gain much when I was pregnant with him.  Cole was a different story.  After I  had him, I was my heaviest ever.  I never lost that weight and now I just keep adding more to it.  Its gotten bad probably over the last year.  I'm comfortable & relatively happy so I eat. These past couple months with the holdiays and all I really didn't 'care'. 

Now I care. I can't stand how I feel and how I really look.  I guess I have this image of me in my head (probably the me from high school) and I think thats just how I look now.  Not so much.  I really looked in the mirror the other day before I got in the shower and wow.  Just wow.  I can't believe I've left it get to this point.  I don't want to step on the scale but I really should. 

A few weeks ago I don't even know what we were watching but a commercial for P90X came on.  Ryan was watching it with me and somehow we both just started bringing it up randomly.  Then we'd find that one of us would each be on a computer looking up more info on it.   I even asked a friend of mine that I knew had done the program and loved it.  Ryan really wanted to order it but I was terrified.   It was hard.  Very hard, not to mention expensive.  I couldn't bring myself to order it.  How  many other programs have I done without success?  How much money have I wasted? 

Guess what showed up in the mail the other day??  Yeah, he ordered it.   Part of me was a little upset just because it is pretty pricey and it wasn't a decision together.  After I thought about it though I changed my mind because maybe this is what I need.  Ryan doesn't quit...ever.  I need him to be obnoxious with me about it, to the point its all he talks about all the time everyday.

 Seriously, he gets on these kicks and he just doesn't stop.  First there was the aquarium, then the chickens now P90X . 

We went and got our supplies for it and did our first disc last night. 

OMG.  That's really all I can say about  it.  I really hope this is it for me.  I want it bad.  I'm tired of feeling and looking this way. 

Onto disc 2 tonight and grocery shopping this weekend.  I'm sort of nervous but excited at the same time.  I can't wait!!!

First Tournament

As I've mentioned Logan went right from football into wrestling.  Wrestling is a little more laid back than football was and it seems, at least at the beginner level, there wouldn't be any matches/tournaments he would HAVE to go to.  It was actually just what we needed after the intense football schedule.

 Though I am hoping Logan gives football one more shot.  I think he might like it better this year.

Anyway,  this past weekend Logan had the chance to participate in his first wrestling tournament.  It was right up our alley, it was supposed to be for first year wrestlers.   He did OK.  He had three different matches.  He was very nervous, as was I on his first one, the second one he did a little better and his last one he didn't even try he was just done and frankly so was I.   Here are a few pictures from the day....

At the end all of the kids got medals, he was very excited :) 

I'm having a little bit of writers block for my other blog post, I really have to quit stressing about it. I've realized I don't like having a certain 'thing' I have to write about but its pretty cool for the experience.  Hopefully its bringing more readers here....As for that...if you are reading what I'm writing either here or there comment, please!!  I <3 comments :) 

I'm not sure what my problems been these past few days, I've been coming home from work and just crashing pretty much as soon as dinner is over and cleaned up.  I know its because its been yucky and cold and I come home get comfy and kick back to read with my Kindle and just fall asleep.

Knitting was going better, you know before I started falling asleep at 7pm.  I'm working on a baby gift for a friend that reads this so I can't say too much about it yet or post pics.  Once I'm finished with it and she receives it I'll be sure to post about it.  Its actually helped me get out of my knitting funk.  Though the part I've currently been working on has been giving me trouble, hoping to get that all figured out tonight.  You know so I can mail it to her before its too small for her baby boy ;) 

Snow Day!!

Yesterday we had our first decent sized snow and I didn't go into work, Ryan hasn't been working much at all because of the cold and bad weather.  I've been bugging Ryan about checking the pond to see if it had been frozen enough to skate on. Yesterday we finally went down to check it out and it was perfect.

I was in the process of writing this post, complaing about NOT having a friggin computer any where in my reach that has a working camera card slot when it dawned on me I DO have the cord for my camera.  YAY!!  There is absolutely NO way I am sending this netbook back for anymore repairs especially nothing as unimportant as the card reader. 

So I do have some pictures of our day together.  We spent a long while down on the ice, the boys didn't even want to go sledding, they were having enough fun just running and sliding around, throwing snowballs and building forts on the ice.  I must say there is something fun about standing on the pond.  I honestly can say I take the pond for granted, we really don't spend much time down there and we should.  Its just so nice down there, I always forget about it.  Anyway, onto the pictures!!!

I love this picture of Cole.  He just went to the edge of the pond, sat on a log and just looked into the woods. He sat like that for probably a good 5-10 minutes.  All by himself, contemplating life I guess. 

I was going to add a picture of me skating but I changed my mind.  So instead you can have a shot of my fancy new skates.  Ryan bought these for me about 4 years ago and this was the first time I got to use them. We had been out sledding and skating that year, it was this perfect ice coated snow.  Great for runner sleds.  Ryan decided to try some crazy move, I was telling him to knock it off before he broke his leg.  Guess who was the one who got hurt?  Yeah, me.  So he felt bad because I had been having a hard time with my old skates that day and he went out and got them for me.

This was just cute. Ryan eventually went and looked through his moms stash of skates and brought some up that were close in size for the boys.  This is Cole getting ready to try out his double runner skates.  The boys did pretty well though they would have done better if the skates fit.  I'd like to look into finding more but its not worth it since the pond doesn't always freeze enough to skate on. 

I really like snow days.  We had a lot of fun yesterday.  After skating we came up and had hot cocoa and I started dinner.  The boys played video games/watched movies and I sat back read on my Kindle and worked on my current knitting project.   That being said, I am so ready for Spring.  I'm tired of the cold. I'm ready for longer days, playing out in the sunshine and cooking on the grill.  Its funny, when I was younger I much prefered winter to summer.   I hated summer.  Now I much more prefer summer to winter. 

As for knitting I wish I could share my current project with you but I can't.  Its a gift for a friend that I've been slacking on.  I'm very close to being finished and it should be on its way soon, very soon.  :)  I have gotten my knitting mojo back I believe.  I'm going to work on some major organizing/destashing of my yarn.  I just have so much I will never use.  Plus I have some that I bought 4 or 5 years ago when I went to Maryland Sheep & Wool for the first time.  I've really got to dig that out and come up with projects for it.  Plus I've got to come up with some kind of better storage situation for it. 

As you can see I've put the button on my blog for Todays Mama, the other blog I have started writing for.  For some reason I can't get the button to lead to me where it SHOULD but the above link should take you to my current post.  Its going ok.  I'm feeling better about it, sort of stressed about what I should write about but lately things have been coming to me.  I just hope its good enough and people start reading it. 

Friends

You may have seen on my sidebar a button for a blog...Because I Said So.   This blog is written by a very wonderful friend of mine.  I've known her for about 7 years.  We met when we were both pregnant with our now 7 year olds.  We were and still are a part of a great online mommy email group.

  I can't tell you how much all of those women mean to me.  Seriously.   I was a young, new mom with no IRL friends who were at the same stage in life as me.  They became those friends to me.  Now 7 years into this whole mothering thing.  I have some IRL mom friends, after joining groups, my son's sports and his school but not a day goes by that I don't think of these women.  I am still writing emails in my head to them every single day.

But I digress...again.  I do that alot. 

My friend Dawn is having some majorly rotten luck right now.  If you could check out her blog, read her story and possibly leave her a nice comment, say a prayer or whatever you can to help her.  



Warm..

I was just looking at my blog layout...dandelions?  blue skies?  green grass?  OH how I wish!  I am so over winter already and its barely even gotten started.  I so want summer.  I just find it so odd...I used to HATE summer.  Just a few years ago.  Now when I was still in school I liked summer because we weren't in school and for my birthday.  Then there was a time, a short time but it was there, that I hated summer with a passion.  As far as I was concerned we could have skipped right over it.  I hate being sweaty and hot ( I still do dislike that part of it) and I just much preferred fall/winter. 

Oh how times have changed.  I even now live in a house without central a/c and I still like summer more than winter.  I can't stand being cold anymore, this from the girl who never would wear a winter coat in high school.  I would actually like to know why teenagers never seem to be cold because my nephew is now the same way. 

I digress...

I still haven't figured out why my card slot isn't working.  I've given up on this netbook.  I'm not dealing with the Acer people again.  Now though I believe it would be up to Walmart to cover the warranty. So, sorry I might be even shorter with the pictures.  I'll try to start snapping more with my phone. 

I am excited to announce that I am now writing for a local online magazine type deal.  I haven't decided if I will post a link to it on this blog or not.  My full name is featured on that blog and it is about local things.  I'm not sure if I want that all thrown out there on this blog or not.  Those of you that know me and want the link just let me know.  Hopefully I can pull it off.  I'm sort of nervous...I have to right about things to do.  We'll see.  I just wrote my first post and I have an idea for my next one but after that...yeah not sure what it'll be about. 

I can't remeber how much or if I ever posted on here about the fact that Logan & Cole share a room and we have been in the process of remodeling another room for them to move into.  I am pleased to announce that after almost THREE years it is ALMOST done.  For REAL this time!!  I am beyond excited.  It seems like this room is the ONE reason the rest of my entire house is unorganized.

 Really that's the reason.  Its ALL about that room.  ;)

 Honestly once that room is done and their current room is emptied out I can finally organize their toys and get them out of my living room.  I can't wait!! 

Well I'm currently freezing so I need to stop typing and go put on some gloves or something. 

And maybe dream about those dandelions, blue skies and green grass.....

Back into the Swing of It.

So I've been writing this blog post in my head for the past oh almost two weeks now.  I figured it was time to actually sit down and do it.

Hmm..I just remembered that was going  to be one of my new years resolutions...blog more.  Let me just add that to my ever growing list.  Along with catching up with my other regularly read blogs, I've really got to get on that.  Sorry guys!!  

Christmas is finally over and we are just trying to get back into the normal day to day swing of things.  My house is a chaotic mess.  While all of the decorations are away my house is a mess of toys and STUFF.  I hate stuff...a lot.  I must say my house is looking rather depressing without the decorations up.

 Not only am I trying to get cleaned up/organized from the holidays I now have to plan a birthday party.  We do a joint party for the boys because they were born 4 years and 1 day apart.  I don't recommend it. 

Really. 

Logan is at the age now he wants to invite school friends but yet our house isn't big enough to have a bunch of school friends plus family & friends for the both of them.  I had considered having it somewhere else like Chuck E. Cheese or this new indoor bounce place that opened but there are just so many reasons that I decided against it.  Maybe next year.

That's what I said last year.

 I'm just not into big birthdays.  It would be SO much easier if the boys had been born in the summer.  My parents have an in ground pool.  Enough said. 

Anyway,  Christmas was good.  Everyone stayed healthy and I believe both boys were happy with what Santa left for them.  I have a few pictures but my camera has been taking super crappy indoor pictures.  I'll post some of them at the end.

Ryan actually surprised me this year...well I guess he did last year too with my netbook.  This year though he actually got me something that I didn't think I wanted. 

I got a Kindle 3G Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G + Wi-Fi, 3G Works Globally, Graphite, 6" Display with New E Ink Pearl Technology and I <3 it.

A lot. 

  Honestly, I was the biggest naysayer when he came to the whole ebook thing.  I thought it was the dumbest thing ever and I would never have one and I couldn't imagine ever not holding a book in my hands.  Now I will say I won't give up regular books because come on, there isn't anything else like the smell and feel of your favorite book in your hands.  There is also nothing like the instant gratification of an ebook.  I have already downloaded at least 5-10 books since Christmas and I've read two  of them in less than a week.  I can see my ability to download books instantly is going to be more dangerous than my ability to download music instantly. 

Now the ability to be able to download books in an instant wasn't the thing that won my heart.  It was the fact that not only can I read books, check facebook and email (sort of) but I can also read pdf files.  Guess what is usually in pdf format?  You got it... knitting patterns.  How cool is that?!  Now no more lost, wrinkled, messed up patterns when I'm working on a project.  Just get out my handy dandy Kindle and right there it is! 

:::sigh:::

So yeah.  I haven't really been doing much besides downloading and reading my Kindle. Maybe that's the real reason my house is such a mess ;) 

On to the pictures.  Again sorry for the crappy quality.  I'm afraid my camera has bitten the dust.

Nevermind. Now I can't get my camera card slot to work...I give up.  Really.

Yeah...

So, yeah....I was wrong.  I DID get my netbook back and it does work (thankfully!).  Though having it back hasn't helped me get back on track with blogging more regularly OR keeping up with the blogs that I read. 

I think we are almost ready for Christmas here.  The shopping is done though nothing is wrapped yet.  I plan on wrapping on Tuesday...hmmm...I wanted to bake Tuesday too AND go for groceries...not sure I have to rethink that.  I also need to make 3 doz cookies for my MOPS cookie exchange on Monday night.  Hmmm...I'll have to think about all that later.  Ugh maybe I'm not as prepared as I thought I was.  I'm not even going to mention the Christmas knitting I have yet to finish.  Oh wow...no I can't think about it, its making me a little sick.

Why do I do that to myself every year?  I KNOW I need to get these things finished and yet I always wait until the last minute to even start them.  You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now. 


I was going to leave you with a picture of our Christmas tree all light up but ummm...not now.  My house is a wreck and I thought this was cuter anyway....

Cole went to work with me today (gees!  my desk is a mess!).  He decided he wanted to wear his Halloween costume to work today.  He was watching an Alvin and the Chipmunks dvd on my computer and drinking a diet pepsi @@